- It was you -

Life beyond the white pickets fences
Life beyond superficial distance
She swore she'd never been there before
But this was her home
Her mind was gone that morning
As we inhaled the sunrise
Like the last cigarette in the box
Knowing recovery would be needed for our choices
But the lack of noises
Pushed a smile beyond the dreariness
Beyond the weariness
We held onto our steps with responsibility
Because if you don't
No one will for you
So you clean your feet slowly
And in the lowly moments of the mourning
You hope that there in purpose in your boots
You hope there is meaning in your moves
Oh that someone would cherish you
Like the last cigarette in a box
Birthing holiness that cannot be bought
Only given
Only to be received
The only thing that fights
When there is no blood left to bleed
Broken chips at the bottom of bag
But I still eat them
Broken bodies stubborn towards our prayers
But we still treat them
We will eat anything to survive
We will run anywhere not to die
Cancer took her before the leaves fell
The neighbors moved away
But she couldn't tell
Spells couldn't keep clothes on the line
And there too much wind for the chimes
We were on the wrong side of time
Unable to repair the holes in our hands
To push back the tide
Drawing lines of no retreat
Only to be washed away
Meeting in bunkers of our sheets
In the hopes to fight another day
But the earth quakes
And these bones shake
Beyond trimmers and cause breaks
Left unable to find the right words to say
Left unable to keep the clothes on the line
They told me it started in her spine
And ended in her mind
Beating down barricades
Stirring up hurricanes
The storm is gone now
But the wind still pervades
As the lines shake in my back yard and in my heart
Never knowing a morning could be this hard
So tell the lasers
To make these tattoos temporary
Because I don't have the time
And tell the tazers
This pain isn't temporary
Unlike the crimes
Of playing hearts with misguided suits
A whore for trivial pursuits
Oh that I still had you
Oh that we had each other
Covering each other with afternoons
On the same couch
And some simple snacks
That covered doubt
With lines of laughter
And of any book, I'd relive that chapter
Your joy was what I was always after
But the promises of tomorrow have made me a liar
And you were the best fighter
And I'd say you were a good dier
But those words don't sit well
So I'm left dreaming
That there is belief beyond the booze
Anger pacified by buttons that snooze
If there was one fight I never wanted to lose
It was you
I would bow at the feet of a savior,
who would have saved her
I would bow at the feet of a savior,
who will come save me

(NOTE: If you would like to purchase this poem please contact me at jared.s.carlin@gmail.com for personalized printing options. Thanks!)