- Steps -

I have too many thoughts
Pushing me to grow concerned
About things I can't control
Finding the curious dance between responsibility and grace
Trying to find the space that I fit in
Wanting to be let loose in a field of sunsets
Wanting to climb to the highest tree
But the steps I take make me stumble
Over who I want to be

Maybe I leave things unfinished at my house
So I have to come home
Knowing that if someone found me the way I am
I wouldn't be ready
But I don't want to be ready
The drawers aren't closed
And the dishes aren't done
Check the laundry, there's lots of clothes
and then some
So I keep the lights on
Avoiding the fires of refinement
Because they are always lit in the night
Afraid of what I might feel
If I couldn't see
Afraid of what might come
If I actually believed

And then there's you
Coming over when I least expect
Taking pieces of me that I can never have back
Forcing me accept things I can't control
Seeing me for who I am
Just know that every time I turn off the lights
I am both happy and afraid
Happy because you are with me
Afraid because I can't see
So be gracious with me as we learn to dance
I always love the music
Its just the steps and the stumbles
That seem to get in the way

(NOTE: If you would like to purchase this poem please contact me at jared.s.carlin@gmail.com for personalized printing options. Thanks!)